The top 60 fringe groups attacking conservatives


7. The middle class

8. Black people 

Supreme puppet master George Soros in an evil villain pose. 

9. Unions

10. George Soros 

11. Women

12. The blogosphere

13. Environmentalists

14. Workers

15. Illegal immigrants

16. Legal immigrants

17. California

18. Communists

19. Presbyterians

20. Socialists

21. The Clintons  

22. Carpenters

23. The judiciary 

24. Muslims

25. Consumer advocacy groups

26. Democrats

27. Canada

28. Europe

29. Comedians (Not funny comedians!) 

30. Gays and lesbians

WASHINGTON, DC - JUNE 27: Gov. John Hickenlooper (D-CO) (L) and Gov. John Kasich, (R-OH) participate in a bipartisan news conference to discuss the Senate health care reform bill at the National Press Club on June 27, 2017 in Washington, DC. The governors called on Senate Democrats and Republicans to work together to come up with a better health care bill. (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)
Ohio Governor Kasich (R) attacks conservatives by appearing with Colorado Governor Hickenlooper (D) to talk about healthcare. 

31. Farmers

32. The big cities of America

33. The small cities of Americans

34. Other conservatives (RINOs) 

35. Obama

36. Lutherans

37. Nancy Pelosi

38. Universities

39. The “deep state” 

40. Musicians

41. 18-29 year olds

42. Catholics

43. Hispanic Americans

AARP North Dakota is in town on Wednesday, April 25, 2018 addressing issues important to North Dakota’s elderly. Slashing nutrition assistance for vulnerable Americans is not the way to support our farmers or help those struggling to put food on the table for themselves and their families, including many senior citizens. In 2016, there were 54,000 North Dakotans on SNAP—about 73% of whom were families with children and 33% of whom had family members who are elderly or have disabilities. As I work to negotiate a new Farm Bill, I’ll fight to protect support for nutrition assistance programs that help keep food on the table when families need it the most, and I’ll fight for our farmers and ranchers to make sure they have the support they need to do their jobs.
Evil seniors from the AARP attack conservatives by meeting with North Dakota Senator Heidi Heitkamp (D) about protecting SNAP benefits. 

44. The gutted small towns of America

45. Seniors

46. Jews

47. The AARP

48. Public radio

49. Writers

50. Al Gore

51. Surfers

52. Colin Powell

53. Retired generals

54. NASA (which apparently is running a conservative child slave colony Mars)

55. Michael Moore

56. FDR

57. The federal reserve

58. Starbucks

59. Public school students

60. Topless sunbathers and their fans in Australia 

And these are just a few. 

What to do?

With all of these enemies, it’s surprising that conservatives ever make it through the day. Can you understand now why they need so many guns?

These attacks are a threat to our freedom: conservatives are not allowed to be conservatives (whatever this means any more). Regardless, it has never been clearer that conservatives must defend themselves from these relentless attacks. 

In order to fight back against all of these people who clearly hate conservatives, conservatives should tune in constantly to conservative media. Otherwise, they will never be able to figure out all of their enemies. 

A few other suggestions: 

  1. Point out that you are under attack constantly by using all of the media outlets you own
  2. Demonize attackers as “radicals” and “fringe” elements
  3. Generate outrage against these attackers to justify using any means necessary to fight them (eventually maybe they can be imprisoned!)
  4. Buy the government
  5. Set up your own “scientific” studies
  6. Fund think tanks to generate propaganda against these attackers
  7. Constantly monitor the media for anything that isn’t the latest conservatism, and purge wherever possible
  8. Scan all textbooks for anti-conservative thought
  9. Eliminate public schools
  10. Defund universities that don’t toe the line
  11. Wage war against the arts, as these people are worthless and don’t really work
  12. Get rid of any media outlets that aren’t owned by big businesses and allow media consolidation so it is easier to air propaganda
  13. Promote based on loyalty to the conservative movement rather than qualifications
  14. Destroy the middle class

The only other action possible is for conservatives to turn off conservative media—and then maybe they won’t feel so threatened.

As a fan of conservative talk radio though, I would urge against this action because without listening to conservative talk radio, we might not know who to properly scapegoat. We might all seem like people who are pretty similar to conservatives, instead of their enemies.

David Akadjian is the author of The Little Book of Revolution: A Distributive Strategy for Democracy (print or ebook). 


USA News


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